Honoring Your Own Needs
by Misako Lauritzen
It just feels rather awkward to come back to this blog after so many weeks. All the same, I'm glad to come back and share my thoughts with all of you.
Sometimes a life hits us in places where we don't usually pay attention to. As our lives become complicated, it seems that there are more of these places.
My life as a mother, an entrepreneur, an employee, a yogi, a healer, a lover, a friend, as the private "me." How compartmentalized my life has become!
Should these "parts of me" separated or integrated? I used to think that I should take out one of them at a time and put it on, just as I would take out a piece of clothing and put it on for an occasion. In the past weeks, a conversation prompted me to start thinking differently.
Currently I am on a mentoring program for NVC, non-violent communication. NVC is a new way of looking at communications as a practice to recognize and honor one's own and fellow human beings' needs, and not as a strategy to get what you want. This kind of communication practice opens up possibilities to understand and to be understood more and, as a consequence, to enjoy more fulfilling relationships with your friends, families and coworkers.
I was on a call with my mentor, when I was asked what my "next step" was. At the time I was seriously overworked, averaging a 3-hour sleep per night, and still I was falling behind my commitments. Therefore it was no mystery that this came out when I opened my mouth.
"I would like to take some actions to fulfill a promise with my friend," I said.
Then I went on to explain that it never sat well with me to feel out of integrity.
I was seriously taken aback by what my coach said next.
"Being in integrity means being whole, and it also includes honoring your own needs."
For longer than a few seconds, I did not understand what she meant. I was trying to think how I should respond. Then she continued.
"Integrity does not always mean fulfilling on promises. You may want to take a closer look at what's holding you back from fulfilling the promise with your friend."
I pondered this question for a few minutes, and a familiar thought hit me. How I sometimes feel bothered, even angry, because I feel bombarded by other people's wants. I feel like I am being pulled to all different directions. I feel that I am always running around to fulfill what other people want from me, and I end up with no time or energy left for ME. I feel spent with nothing left to give.
Since that day of the phone call with my coach, I have been learning to re-evaluate what integrity means to me. And I am learning to say no, because I sometimes need to honor my own needs.
Do you feel that you have to fulfill on every promise you have made in order to be in integrity? Which of your own needs can you honor today to be a whole person?
by Misako Lauritzen
It just feels rather awkward to come back to this blog after so many weeks. All the same, I'm glad to come back and share my thoughts with all of you.
Sometimes a life hits us in places where we don't usually pay attention to. As our lives become complicated, it seems that there are more of these places.
My life as a mother, an entrepreneur, an employee, a yogi, a healer, a lover, a friend, as the private "me." How compartmentalized my life has become!
Should these "parts of me" separated or integrated? I used to think that I should take out one of them at a time and put it on, just as I would take out a piece of clothing and put it on for an occasion. In the past weeks, a conversation prompted me to start thinking differently.
Currently I am on a mentoring program for NVC, non-violent communication. NVC is a new way of looking at communications as a practice to recognize and honor one's own and fellow human beings' needs, and not as a strategy to get what you want. This kind of communication practice opens up possibilities to understand and to be understood more and, as a consequence, to enjoy more fulfilling relationships with your friends, families and coworkers.
I was on a call with my mentor, when I was asked what my "next step" was. At the time I was seriously overworked, averaging a 3-hour sleep per night, and still I was falling behind my commitments. Therefore it was no mystery that this came out when I opened my mouth.
"I would like to take some actions to fulfill a promise with my friend," I said.
Then I went on to explain that it never sat well with me to feel out of integrity.
I was seriously taken aback by what my coach said next.
"Being in integrity means being whole, and it also includes honoring your own needs."
For longer than a few seconds, I did not understand what she meant. I was trying to think how I should respond. Then she continued.
"Integrity does not always mean fulfilling on promises. You may want to take a closer look at what's holding you back from fulfilling the promise with your friend."
I pondered this question for a few minutes, and a familiar thought hit me. How I sometimes feel bothered, even angry, because I feel bombarded by other people's wants. I feel like I am being pulled to all different directions. I feel that I am always running around to fulfill what other people want from me, and I end up with no time or energy left for ME. I feel spent with nothing left to give.
Since that day of the phone call with my coach, I have been learning to re-evaluate what integrity means to me. And I am learning to say no, because I sometimes need to honor my own needs.
Do you feel that you have to fulfill on every promise you have made in order to be in integrity? Which of your own needs can you honor today to be a whole person?